Going From One to Two
So it’s been just over a year since I have been a mum of two!
When I fell pregnant with the second, I remember saying to Mr Raucous I didn’t know how I could possibly love another child as much as my precious first born, then he arrived and I wondered how I ever thought I couldn’t! But let me tell you, it’s been an absolute baptism of fire.
When they first arrive, you are caught in that newborn haze, wondering what the heck you have let yourselves in for, but with the added pressure of keeping a toddler amused too. I think we were fairly lucky that our gap is just under 3 years, so it was a little easier to explain the baby couldn’t play sword fighting yet and didn’t want to be the Smee to your Captain Hook. But the epic mum guilt was rife, especially as I was breastfeeding and he fed a lot. Lots of sofa games were played and had a little box with some easy access toys and snacks that I could get out whilst feeding. I also made sure that where ever possible I put The Biggest to bed and that was our special time together. He had a few wobbles, but I used to say to him that he would always be special, because he made us a Mummy and Daddy, we were just Mrs R and Mr R before then. Generally, he took to the baby really well and enjoyed being a helper, although some kids don’t, so I think reading the situation helps, as you don’t want them becoming resentful at being asked to do lots of things for the baby.
We had got potty training nailed right after I fell pregnant so it would be one less thing to worry about and thankfully he took to it right away, but we had the odd night time accident when The Littest arrived, which is completely normal with the upheaval. We had also put The Biggest in a playgroup a couple of days a week from when I found out I was pregnant, to get him used to it happening before the baby arrived and also as I knew I would need the break and we were fortunate that financially, we could continue that. The other big bonus was it helped that unlike his brother, The Littlest slept really well, so after the first couple of months and a few wobbles it all seemed hunky dory. That is, until The Littlest was on the move.
Oh. Em. Gee. It didn’t help that also coincided with my annual winter blues kicking in, but all of a sudden I needed eyes in the back of my head and felt like I was struggling to keep my head above water. I was back at work doing KIT days, then back to work properly by 9 months and it was all a bit intense. He had out grown the circle of neglect (🤣), so basically I couldn’t put him anywhere safe downstairs if I needed to go and make lunch or assist The Biggest with bum wiping duties and demands for snacks. Everything was a hazzard. Also, The Littlest has inherited my temper and my patience level (spoiler: I have none). He cannot go in a high chair unless there is some kind of food stuff to placate him, or he goes nuclear within seconds. So trying to make it all work took some tears (mostly mine), some mad organisational skills to ensure we all are where we need to be – and a lot of gin.
But we are getting through the second phase of this and are all still alive and not particularly emotional scarred (at least I hope not!) so it’s all quiet on the Western Park front and we will wait for the next phase. Parents of more than two and multiples, I doff my cap at you. You are super humans! I have heard the transition from 2 to 3 is much easier, but I will just take their word for it!
I asked a few of my fellow bloggers how they found the jump from one to two, they had this to share:
Miss Tilly & Me: “You will feel extremely guilty because that amazing love you have for one child will now have to be shared between two children and you will always wonder if you’re giving one child more love and attention than the other child. You will wonder how you can possibly share that amazing love you have for one child and whether you will love the new child as much. This is absolutely normal, as soon as you have that second child, you wonder why you ever worried. There is so much love to share with all of your kids. Also take a gift to the hospital for your first child. Wrap it up from the baby and give it to your child when the baby is born. This will help your child accept the new baby, we all know kids can be bought with presents“
My Family of Roses: “Expect jealousy. The second you sit down with the baby. It is a phase though”
The Growing Mum: “We got eldest a doll and encouraged him to care for it by doing tasks like changing nappies. After a few days of adjustment he now tries to help with his little brother”
How did you cope with the transition?